Meltdowns….. emotions and meltdowns are so NORMAL

Today I realized that in seeing my friends 4 year old twins melt down I felt more normal… I think we often forget that kids are kids…. all kids will have melt downs, they will be sweet one minute, devilish the next, and then offer the biggest sweetest hug ever… then in a moment have a complete melt down because you didn’t put the cheese on the taco in quite the right way :).   I can laugh now but when engrossed in being busy parents I often feel helpless in those moments – when you try every way possible to approach or leave alone or modify and often the child just needs to release that emotion and it likely doesn’t have to do with whatever the focus at the moment may be…. they release, they hug and typically a few moments later they are happy again.   Since we often do not see those meltdowns from other children I sometimes wonder – are we doing something wrong?  We aren’t – we offer choices and are firm and consistent and focus on be attentive to good behaviors etc… but kids are kids and they express emotions outward which is so healthy.   It happens in all homes with toddlers – although I felt for my friend as she was handling the double meltdown with such grace… I also had a moment of relief that she goes through it too….. 🙂

Maybe we can take a lesson from our toddlers… wouldn’t it be nice after a long, grueling day at the office to come home and just cry or yell openly but not directed at anyone and then hug someone you love and it all be ok? I am going to work harder and be more mindful of my true emotions… throughout my life I have learned to bottle it up and put everyone else’s emotions ahead of mine… I even take on others emotions and hold onto them… instead of acknowledging the emotion, showing sympathy and then releasing…. I used to watch a specific movie that would trigger the emotions in me so I could have my own melt down.. cry and I always felt better…. 

How do you release emotions when you feel stressed, overwhelmed, sad, angry, etc…

random thoughts and emotions – when a parent dies

I have had a lot of events happening over the last few weeks and I think I just didn’t realize it was affecting me until my husband mentioned that I have been a bit edgy and that maybe I should take some time to think about what/how I am feeling.  He knows me so well… I often get wrapped up in doing and making sure everyone else is ok and happy and forget to look at myself or in my heart.  I now realize that within a matter of the last 2 weeks it was my son’s birthday, the second anniversary of my mom’s death and my 5 year wedding anniversary.  The birthday was so much fun but stressful, the second anniversary of my mom’s death was difficult, and my 5 year anniversary was wonderful.  I think I have been trying to keep my brain and body busy focusing on everything else and not dealing with my mom’s death.  It has been 2 years and I miss her.  I seem to be stuck in a revolving door of emotions – anger, acceptance, sadness.  I feel angry that she died, I feel angry that she is unable to meet my daughter, I feel sad that my kids will not know their “mimi” (who was the best grandma you could ever hope for), I feel sad that my friend and my mom is gone,  I feel angry that she stopped fighting….this is the hardest to deal with.  I know she was tired and deep down I know she made the right decision and that she is no longer suffering… and I realize that I am being selfish but I feel angry and then I feel sad because I had always thought she would be a part of my life, a part of my kids lives, a voice of reason, a caring and fun loving grandma… my son loved (loves) her so much – he spent a lot of time with her in his first 2 years and they were able to hang out the night before she died – he was making her laugh out loud and he was just beaming and giggling.  I miss those moments… she was the first to make him laugh when he was so teeny and she so loved him.  I know she would have been the same with my daughter and it makes me sad that she will never meet her…. she only rubbed my belly when I was pregnant and laughed when my daughter would kick :).

I miss her daily…. I do find comfort that I was able to be there with her for her last day and last breath and to watch her pass peacefully…. I am happy she is no longer suffering… but I will always miss her because she was such a caring person and a loving friend….