Meltdowns….. emotions and meltdowns are so NORMAL

Today I realized that in seeing my friends 4 year old twins melt down I felt more normal… I think we often forget that kids are kids…. all kids will have melt downs, they will be sweet one minute, devilish the next, and then offer the biggest sweetest hug ever… then in a moment have a complete melt down because you didn’t put the cheese on the taco in quite the right way :).   I can laugh now but when engrossed in being busy parents I often feel helpless in those moments – when you try every way possible to approach or leave alone or modify and often the child just needs to release that emotion and it likely doesn’t have to do with whatever the focus at the moment may be…. they release, they hug and typically a few moments later they are happy again.   Since we often do not see those meltdowns from other children I sometimes wonder – are we doing something wrong?  We aren’t – we offer choices and are firm and consistent and focus on be attentive to good behaviors etc… but kids are kids and they express emotions outward which is so healthy.   It happens in all homes with toddlers – although I felt for my friend as she was handling the double meltdown with such grace… I also had a moment of relief that she goes through it too….. 🙂

Maybe we can take a lesson from our toddlers… wouldn’t it be nice after a long, grueling day at the office to come home and just cry or yell openly but not directed at anyone and then hug someone you love and it all be ok? I am going to work harder and be more mindful of my true emotions… throughout my life I have learned to bottle it up and put everyone else’s emotions ahead of mine… I even take on others emotions and hold onto them… instead of acknowledging the emotion, showing sympathy and then releasing…. I used to watch a specific movie that would trigger the emotions in me so I could have my own melt down.. cry and I always felt better…. 

How do you release emotions when you feel stressed, overwhelmed, sad, angry, etc…

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I’ve had enough….

OK, so I think my mind and body have finally had enough of the go, go, go and do, do, do everything for everyone else.  This has been nagging at me for a while but I finally listened to that inner voice today and realized, “I NEED A BREAK!”.  Actually, I just need some me time.  I go and do for everyone else all the time, my kids, my husband, my dad, the daycare, my clients…. I have been allowing everyone to take a little piece of me and not leaving anything or ME.  This may sound selfish but I am realizing that in order to be a good mom, a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter, etc… I need to take time out for me.  Even if that is just a cup of coffee in my house by myself after everyone is gone without turning on my computer or my phone or a good run that gets my mind focused and my body feeling good.

I have always been a little bit of a caretaker and always been and overachiever and what I like to call “Optimistic with my time”.  But now, with kids and dogs, and work and school and everything else… I don’t have time to be optimistic with – I need to learn to time manage better.  Somedays, I feel like I am running in circles and not getting much done at all, often making more work for myself in the process.  Learning to focus on one thing at a time will be a great start.

Here is what I will be trying:  Make a list, Focus on one thing at a time, be present in the moment, get it done and enjoy it.  If thoughts come in about all of the other things that need to get done, I will acknowledge the thought, breathe it out and get back to the task at hand.

Wish me luck…..and let me know if anyone else tries this and how it works out.